


Sacrifices

by GarcysFlereal



Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: ANGST! ANGST! ANGST!, Alternate Ending, Angst, F/M, Please Don't Hate Me, Please don't disown me, but it has an open-ending so..., this is not a HEA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 09:56:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17702177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GarcysFlereal/pseuds/GarcysFlereal
Summary: Lucy Preston goes back to 2014, but this isn't São Paolo.(alternate ending for that Timeless finale "movie")





	Sacrifices

The throbbing pain in her head subsides and Lucy Preston exhales and focuses on the road ahead of her. It’s barely been one hour since she alone hijacked the Lifeboat and traveled back to 2014.

It wasn’t hard lying to her husband, Wyatt Logan, about her intention to use the Lifeboat “one last time” to go back to São Paolo to give Flynn her journal. Over the past five years she has grown accustomed to lying to him. It was easier to simply smile and tell Wyatt what he wanted to hear than to tell the truth and argue with him.

When she told him that she thought it was time to go back to give Flynn her journal, Wyatt took it upon himself to start planning how that mission would go. He and Rufus would go with her to ensure her safety should Flynn lash out at her. He worked out a script for her to use as a guideline for what she should tell Flynn to get in and out of the bar as quickly as possible. Wyatt is military and claimed that he knew what another soldier would need to hear in order to “get the job done.” Lucy smiled and agreed with him, but she had other plans. She had spent the last two years figuring out what she had to do, and it is something that Wyatt would never agree to.

She came back a month early to save Garcia Flynn.

She came back to November 2014, San Diego. Just over one month before Rittenhouse comes to murder Lorena and Iris. She did not bring the journal here with her, she left it in the Lifeboat so when future history changed that it would be preserved. Lucy doesn’t want Flynn to have the journal. She doesn’t want him to even know that there is another timeline where he loses his family and travels through time to try to destroy Rittenhouse.

She wants to save him from ever getting involved.

She wants to save his life.

Lucy turns left onto Sandpiper Avenue and checks the piece of paper where she wrote down Flynn’s home address. She drives slowly until she finds his house and stops the car. The sun is just starting to set which casts warm shadows on the brick red house. She holds her hand against her forehead as another wave of pain burrows itself in her head.

She knows she has very little time to talk to Flynn, and she knows that she is risking her life coming here.

She knows if she changes her mind, if she turns this car back around and returns to the Lifeboat to go back home to 2023, that she could still go back to São Paolo. She could still decide to set Flynn on his mission to destroy Rittenhouse. No one wanted to risk her not running that mission. Everyone worried that if Lucy didn’t give Flynn her journal that they would be jeopardizing their present and future. They had convinced themselves that everything that happened had happened before, that they are in a closed loop, and that Lucy absolutely must repeat history to ensure their own happy endings.

Not a single one of them even considered what that meant. They lost Flynn. He sacrificed his damn life for Rufus. He died hoping that she; Lucy Preston would have a happy life.

That didn’t sit right with Lucy.

She and Flynn had talked about his first meeting with her in São Paolo only a couple times. The first time he had been vague, and she felt that he was withholding information from her. He apologized for having done that a few nights later when she came to his room and she asked him about the night Lorena and Iris died. He had told her that she knew everything, but all she knew is what Agent Christopher had told her. The lies that Rittenhouse ensured were spread in the media and in official reports. Lucy wanted to hear what happened from him. She had seen Garcia Flynn close to tears before but that night in his room, he cried. He sat in that uncomfortable chair and sobbed as he relived the night his family was murdered.

Lucy moved off the bed and stood before him as he remained seated. She touched him on the shoulder and said his name. Without hesitation he wrapped his arms around her waist. He rested his head on her chest, seeking the comfort she offered. Once his tears stopped, Lucy guided him to bed and laid with him all night.

His body curled up beside her as he rest his head on her chest, his arm wrapped tightly around her as she ran her fingers gently through his hair. They laid in silence for a long time before his voice cracked and he began telling her more about the first time he met her in São Paolo. He confessed that he allowed darkness to consume him and he was going to take his own life that Christmas Eve. He said that she saved him. She gave him something worth fighting for, worth living for.

She gave him hope.

He told her that she sat down next to him, introduced herself and called him by his first name. She stayed there with him for almost an hour and refused to let the bartender serve him any more alcohol. She told him that she knew about Rittenhouse and that she was from the future, nine years into the future to be exact. To prove her credibility further, she had told him stories he shared with her about Lorena and Iris. Told him that Lorena would lie on the couch and hum ‘ _I Wished on the Moon’_ and how it bothered him. She told him about how he would check his daughter’s closet for monsters when she would stall going to bed and he would use a water gun to scare those monsters away.

Flynn told her that he suspected that they had been intimate because she touched him where he had been wounded the night Rittenhouse murdered his family. There in that dreary bunker, in his small bed, Flynn lifted his shirt and showed her the scar from where one of Rittenhouse’s agents had shot him that night. Lucy remembers that moment well. How her eyes locked with his and then drifted down to look at his scar. The way he gave a nod of his head to give her permission to touch him. The way the scar on his waist felt against her fingertips. She had looked up into his eyes as she rested her hand against his bare skin, he didn’t look away. She parted her lips as he leaned toward her and just as she could feel his breath on her lips he pulled away, clearing his throat.

He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Lucy didn’t know what to do or to say to him. All she could do was hope that the moment hadn’t created an awkwardness between them that they both had worked so hard to erase. After a few minutes of silence, she asked him to tell her more about their meeting in São Paolo as she curled up next to him, hesitantly resting her hand on his chest again, unsure if that’s what he wanted.

Flynn settled into her touch and continued, telling her that she complained of a headache that night in São Paolo. That eventually it had become too much to bear and she told him she had to leave. But before she left, she said that there was a way for him to stop Rittenhouse and to do it he was going to need her help.  And that was when she handed him the journal.

She started all of it and now it is her responsibility to end it, for him.

She came here knowing that she will erase everything that ever happened between them.

He will never steal the Mothership and they will never meet.

He will never assassinate President Lincoln. He will never kill David Rittenhouse. He will never go to prison. He will never make her coffee in the morning. He will never cradle her in his arms after her mother died and she almost killed Emma Whitmore. He won’t have to sacrifice himself to save Rufus.

And he will never fall in love with her.

Garcia Flynn will continue to live his life with his wife and daughter.

After everything he went through, the self-destruction and sacrifice. He doesn’t deserve to do it all over again simply because her friends believe their lives depend on Flynn’s sacrifice. The very thought of setting him back on that path makes Lucy feel sick. Garcia Flynn might not have been their friend, but he was hers. He deserved better. He deserved their respect. He deserved not to be used.

He deserves another chance at life. And that is exactly why she is here now, in November 2014.

To save Lorena and Iris.

To save Garcia Flynn.

Five years ago, she lost him. She lost him just as they were getting close. He had become her friend, no, he was her best friend. The only person in that damn bunker that she felt comfortable talking to. She had opened up to him about what she went through when she was held captive by her mother at Rittenhouse headquarters. She had talked to him about that unfortunate Wyatt-Jessica situation. They were finally starting to gel as a team. They almost kissed. He had almost told her that he loved her and that’s why he was there, for her. He was the only one to say anything to her after she lost her mother. And he held her in his arms and comforted her the night she fell into darkness.

He was the only one who understood her, and she lost him.

She didn’t shed tears for him when Agent Christopher told him she discovered he had died. She had been in shock, unable to process her feelings. Not quite believing it to be true. She couldn’t believe that he must have sent the Lifeboat back on its own and stayed in 2012 to die. That wasn’t like him. She blamed herself. She blamed herself because she was the one who got him involved in the first place.

She replayed her conversation with him about the “good part” of the journal. How he tried to laugh it off to avoid talking to her about his feelings with Jiya and Wyatt standing not far from them. He claimed he wasn’t her type. He used the excuse that he tried to kill her a few times, but they both knew that was bullshit. She spoke softly to him. She spoke to him softly because she understood that his heart was fragile, that he had lost so much and had been broken. She understood that she was the reason why he smiled more and laughed. She understood that he was in love with her and didn’t want him to misinterpret her words. She wanted him to understand that she was falling in love with him too.

He fought her the only way he knew how, with sarcasm and humor. That’s how she knew that he was saying things to try to protect himself, to protect his heart. He was inconsistent, and she didn’t understand why one minute he said that the journal was unreliable. Then tried to convince her the next minute that the journal proved that any relationship they would have had would end badly.

Hours later she woke up by the campfire and he was gone. She believed that he really did ride ahead of them to scope out Sutter’s Mill, and as excited as she was to see Rufus barge through that barn door to rescue them. She feared what that meant for Flynn.

Then she found his letter shoved in between the pages of her journal.

All she felt was guilt, regret, deep sorrow, and anger. Her heart was broken. In his absence she realized that she wasn’t falling in love with him, she was already in love.

She was so angry with him for leaving to take care of Jessica for Wyatt. She was angry at him for assuming that her heart always belonged to Wyatt. She was angry that he encouraged her to be with Wyatt. She was angry with him for taking away her choice, her decision to be with him. It didn’t matter to her that he claimed they ended badly. The journal wasn’t set in stone. She wanted to see where they could end up. If they had been alone discussing this, she very well might have begun a relationship right then and there and kissed the damn fool after he claimed he wasn’t her type.

The journal said their relationship began after they survived the Titanic but she didn’t need to wait for that mission to know that she wanted to be with him.

She fell back on bad habits after she returned from North Korea. She should have moved out of Wyatt’s room in the bunker, but she didn’t. If Flynn wanted her to end up with Wyatt, then that was exactly what she was going to do. She threw herself back into Wyatt’s arms. And Wyatt is so fucking unobservant that he had no clue that she was sleeping him out of spite for what Flynn had done. He had killed himself, believing he wasn’t worthy of her love. She was angry and Flynn wasn’t there for her to scream at. She hoped she was hurting Flynn, though he wasn’t there, by throwing herself at Wyatt.

Of course, that backfired, and she wound up giving up her dreams, her hopes and herself because of her own goddamn irresponsibility.

She and Wyatt decided to get married early in 2019 after she discovered she was pregnant. She told Wyatt that he didn’t have to marry her that she could be a single mother, but he insisted that they get married so their child would grow up with both a mother and a father in the home.  When she found out she was pregnant with _twins_ that was when she knew that she couldn’t do it alone, and she agreed to marry him. He was elated and she blamed fatigue and hormonal changes on her lack of excitement about their engagement.

She quickly learned that Wyatt was still jealous about her and Flynn. He even had the audacity to ask her if the twins were Flynn’s since he knew she had been spending nights with him before he died. Lucy learned that she had to shower Wyatt with praise and affection in order to make him happy. And that’s exactly what she did. It was better to have Wyatt believe she was happy than to have him upset that she had regrets about Flynn.

Lucy did her best to try to shove Flynn to the back of her mind. It wasn’t very hard at first as she was preoccupied with her pregnancy, planning a wedding, and taking care of her twin daughters Flynn and Amy, after they were born. But as the girls got older, and Wyatt was more frequently away from home for work, her thoughts started to drift back to Garcia Flynn.

She found it increasingly more difficult to fall asleep at night. She’d close her eyes and see Flynn’s smile. She’d visualize the way he would light up when she went to his room late at night. She’d hear his voice echoing in her head, his laughter. She longed to crawl underneath the blankets of his bed and talk to him again. After their first night sleeping together in his bed, they spent every night in each other’s arms. She missed the feel of his arms wrapped tightly around her and the sound of his heartbeat as she fell asleep. She missed waking up with her arm draped over his chest, her hand over his heart.

She missed the way he made her feel.

He made her happy.

Over the years, Lucy memorized the letter Flynn wrote for her the night he left to take care of Jessica. She wishes she could grab him by his shoulders and shake him, to yell at him, to tell him that _he_ made her happy. To tell him how angry she was with him for leaving her, for not allowing her to chose him instead of Wyatt. To tell him that she realized she loved him after it was too late.

Lucy sighs. She knows she is stalling, delaying the erasure of their history together. She needs to go warn him about Rittenhouse, and she needs to get back home as quickly as she can. She takes the keys out of the ignition of the car. She leans back in the seat, closing her eyes replaying his words in her head one more time before she changes their history.

_I hope you get everything you want in life. I hope you can be happy. And one day, I hope you can have a family of your own. And I hope you get your sister back… the one thing I couldn’t hate after I lost my family… Never give up trying to save the world from Rittenhouse, and then maybe you can save the ones you love. Well, guess I’ll see you Christmas Eve, 2014. You know the place. All my love, Flynn._

It would break his heart to know that he gave his life for her happiness and she’s been so unhappy. It would destroy him to know that she is willing to sacrifice her own children all in a gamble to make a better future for him. She loves her daughters and they are the one good thing she got out of the cards she had been dealt, but she longs for friendship and intimacy. She longs to be with someone who understands her better than she understands herself.

She longs to be with Garcia Flynn, but that can never happen.

Lucy lets out a heavy sigh and turns her head and stares at the window of Flynn’s home. The setting sun makes it easier for her to see inside his home. There’s movement behind the white curtains, she knows the silhouette well. It’s Flynn. She wipes a tear from her cheek with the back of her hand. This is going to be one of the hardest things she’s ever had to do.

To sacrifice everything that they’ve been through together.

To sacrifice her daughters.

To give up the fight against Rittenhouse before it’s even begun.

But Rittenhouse is not why she is here.

She is only here to save him.

To save Garcia Flynn.

And if that means they will never meet, well… she has come to terms with that. She’s come to terms with a lot of things that she will destroy once she has completed her mission here tonight.

She has no idea what her life will be like when she returns to 2023. She knows that if she never meets Wyatt Logan that she will never have her little girls. Her marriage might not be an ideal, but she loves her daughters with all her heart. They’re the one good thing she still has in life. She couldn’t bring them with her on this trip because the Lifeboat was designed to transport adults, not children. The best she could do was wear a locket around her neck that holds small photographs of her girls as well as the only photo of her sister that exists.

She, alone, will remember them.

She is as prepared as she can be.

She is ready to set everyone on the road not taken.

Lucy takes a deep breath to fight off the pain she is feeling in her head. She closes her eyes and slowly exhales. She knows she doesn’t have a lot of time to do what she came to do. She knows that when she returns to 2023 that she will live in a world where Rittenhouse operated without opposition. History will be bent in their favor, whatever that will mean.

When she returns home, she will walk away from whatever life this moment will have created for her. If she is married, or has children, she will walk away from them forever. She will never stop trying to save the world from Rittenhouse. She will continue to fight them knowing in the end, if she succeeds, she will have nothing. She tried to destroy Rittenhouse once before. She had been willing to blow herself up in the Mothership to stop them once and for all. If she could infiltrate Rittenhouse once, she could do it again. Taking care of Rittenhouse is her responsibility.

It is her burden to bear.

This is her sacrifice to save the people she loves.

Lucy knows that she will never feel Flynn’s arms around her again. She will never feel safe, and protected, and loved. She will never kiss him or make love to him. But she will have saved him. He will never know her, but more importantly he will never know the pain of losing his girls. He will never sacrifice himself so that she might have a happy life. He will never carry the burden of knowing everything that she gave up for him.

He will never know how much she loves him.

He was supposed to be her protector, but she has become his.

Her legs are weak as she gets out of the car and heads up the driveway, walking past a black sports car that is parked in front of the house. She reaches the front door and though it’s late autumn, the flowers haven’t yet shed their petals and she can still smell the scent of the burgundy peonies and yellow daylilies that line the exterior of the house.

Standing there on the front porch she can see Flynn sitting on the couch with Iris in his lap as he reads to her. Behind them Lorena prepares this evening’s dinner in the kitchen. The smile on Flynn’s face breaks her heart. She only ever saw that smile when she was alone with him in the bunker or on missions when together they split from the team. Her chest tightens as her heart aches. Flynn’s a natural father. His face changes expression as he reads to Iris. And Lucy knows that he’s the kind father that makes up different silly voices for each different character as he reads to his little girl.

Lucy smiles bittersweetly… _what if…_

What if everything had been different… what if Flynn had fathered her girls… what if he was the one that she married… what if he was the one she made love to… what if he was the one she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with…? What if…

She will never know.

She can’t know.

That’s not why she’s here.

She is here to save him. To save his family. She’s here so he’ll never have to steal the Mothership. He’ll never tear through time burning everything to the ground. He’ll never have to kill innocents out of necessity. He’ll never have to stare into a mirror and see himself as a monster undeserving of love and affection. He’ll never… he’ll never know the pain and the grief of losing his family.

Lucy swallows back tears and assures herself that she is doing the right thing.

Flynn will be able to see his little girl grow up. He’ll be able to intimidate her boyfriends, to watch her grow into the woman she is supposed to be. He’ll have no what ifs. He’ll get to walk her down the aisle and give her away, he’ll get to shed tears when she says “I do,” He’ll get to hold his grandchildren in his arms and spoil them rotten as he grows old with his beautiful Lorena. She hopes he lives a long and happy life, surrounded by his loved ones.

Her hand shakes as she raises it to her forehead as she winces in pain.

The pain is becoming more frequent.

She needs to do this now.

Her hand is unsteady as she reaches out to ring the doorbell. It is then that she is hit by the worst pain she has ever felt in her life. It nearly brings her to her knees, and she lets out a small cry. Her head is throbbing, and she braces herself with one hand against the doorframe. She has to push this pain aside because she knows if Flynn sees her like this that he will want to help her, and she doesn’t have time to convince him otherwise. He’s stubborn just as she is. He cares about people just as she. That’s why they both sacrificed everything for each other.

She grits her teeth and stands straight just as the door opens. Garcia Flynn, dressed in Levi jeans and a white t-shirt, stares down at her and smiles. There’s a look in his eyes that makes her wonder if somehow he recognizes her, but it’s gone before she can double check. The light from inside his home hurts her eyes, and her ears are ringing.

“May I help you?” He asks, sounding slightly amused as he smiles at her.

“You don’t know me, Garcia…” She winces as the pain intensifies and then dissipates, “… I’m here to warn you.” She intentionally does not tell him her name. She wouldn’t want him driving up to San Francisco to talk to her other self about this meeting and inadvertently getting himself involved in all this anyway.

“Warn me?” He asks her, raising his brow in surprise.

“About Rittenhouse.”

His eyes widen as if he’s heard the name before.

Lucy continues, “If you come across that name, let it go. Don’t look into it, do not get your NSA contact involved…” She struggles to remember the name, “Neville…” She squeezes her eyes shut to fight off another wave of pain. She hopes that it makes it look like she’s thinking of what to say next. She forces her eyes open and looks up at him, forcing a smile to further hide her pain from the most perceptive man she knows.

The smile has vanished from his face. He steps outside and closes the door behind him. Lucy’s heart races, what if… what if he has already discovered Rittenhouse and their contributions to Connor Mason? What if she’s too late? She should have come here earlier, a year earlier. The ringing in her ears subsides and the headache dulls.

Garcia lowers himself to her and asks as if he’s playing along with some game which she is not privy, “How do you know I’m an NSA asset?”

Lucy can’t help but smile as she tells him, “I know everything about you.”

She sees a flash of light and it feels as if the universe is trying to crush her. She bends over and groans in pain, not caring if he figures it out. It’s getting worse, she has to hurry so she can drive back to the Lifeboat. She wonders if she will even make it back to 2023. She shakes her head to try to get rid herself of the pain. She continues, “I don’t have time to explain everything to you, but…” She looks up into his hazel eyes. His face is soft, full of concern for her, perhaps even fear. “I’m from the future and I’m here so you can save yourself and your family.”

Garcia rubs his index finger under his nose and indicates with a nod she should do the same. He reaches into his back pocket and retrieves his handkerchief. “Your nose… it’s bleeding.” He tells her.

Lucy rubs her finger under her nose and sure enough, it is. She takes the handkerchief from him without a word and dabs her nose. He places a gentle hand on her shoulder and looks into her eyes.

“Lucy…” His voice is soft yet confused. “Why are you here?”

Her heart skips a beat and she forgets about the pain for just an instant.

How does he know her name?

“It’s me, Lucy.” He answers the question as if reading her mind, “I mean… of course, it’s me, but I mean… _me_ , me.” He pauses to see if she understands. “The Mothership… Lincoln… Salem… Robert Johnson… Port Royal… Chinatown…” He watches for her reaction then adds, “Zorro.” He draws a Z in the air with his finger.

Lucy blinks her eyes in disbelief.

This is not possible.

Her Garcia Flynn died.

There was an autopsy report.

“How?” is all she can ask.

“The other me died… I guess our other selves are affected when we travel in our own timeline. I replaced him after he-”

Garcia catches Lucy as she loses her balance and stumbles forward. She tries to steady herself by placing both her hands on his arms. She knows she needs to leave now. She’s not even sure she’ll be able to make it back to the Lifeboat. Dammit! She needs his help. If she were to die before she can get back home to 2023, the Lifeboat would be abandoned and at risk of someone finding it. If she doesn’t make it, she will need him to destroy it for her.

“Lucy?” His voice is filled with worry. He studies her trying to figure out how he can help. He knows exactly what she is going through as he’s been through it himself, and it pains him to see her this way. “You shouldn’t have risked your life for me. I wrote that I’d see you in São Paolo… Obviously, I already know about Rittenhouse, so I saved my girls, but Lucy…” He looks beyond her expecting to see Wyatt and Rufus, they’re not here. Why aren’t they here? He lowers his voice to make what he says more intimate, “… I was still going to be there… for you.”

“I wanted to change history, our… your history.” Lucy explains. “To help you save Lorena and Iris, to stop you from ever getting involved in the fight against Rittenhouse. I need-” Another wave of pain flows through her entire body and she grasps onto his arm again to steady herself.

“You shouldn’t have risked your life for me.” His voice is above a whisper, hit with the realization that things may not have turned out as he had hoped for her.

“Just like you meant to give your life for me?” She asks him with her voice raised, the anger she’s held onto all these years is evident to Garcia.

He understands that he hurt her. And he never meant to hurt her. He thought he was doing what was best for her. He thought he wasn’t good enough for her, so he left. He was willing to die for her so that she might be happy. He doesn’t know how to answer her question or if she even expects an answer. All he hears is the pain in her voice and for the first time in two years he realizes that he had been wrong.

“I’m sorry, Lucy.” He says, his voice reflecting his heartache and regret.

She doesn’t hear his apology.

The ringing in her ears is louder now and her head is spinning.  Her fingers dig into his arm as she fights to remain standing, but it’s all for naught as he has to hold onto her to keep her from falling.

“Garcia…” Her voice quivers, revealing every bit of fear she’s feeling. She feels it. She is dying, “The Lifeboat…” She lets out an agonizing cry. “I need your help.”

Lucy’s eyes start to roll back into her head and without hesitation, Garcia picks Lucy up in his arms and carries her over to the black car which is parked in the driveway. He opens the door to the passenger side and helps her in, buckling the seatbelt for her. He watches her as she tilts her head back and to the side. He places her hand on her face and looks her in the eyes.

“I’ll save you, Lucy.” He promises with urgency in his voice.

He stands up and closes the passenger door. He sees Lorena walking toward them. He runs right past her and into the house. Lorena looks at Lucy in his car, then turns and watches as Garcia runs from the house with his car keys in hand.

“Garcia? What is going on?” She asks.

“That’s Lucy and she needs my help.” He answers her, and without another word he gets into his car, starts the engine, turns on the headlights, and tears out of the driveway, leaving Lorena in his wake.

He speeds out of his neighborhood and takes a right to get on the main road to the highway. He looks over at Lucy. It’s dark and he can’t tell how she is doing. He reaches over and checks the pulse point on her neck to make sure that she is still alive. She still has a pulse. It’s weak, but she’s still alive.

“Where’s the Lifeboat?” He asks her as calmly as he can despite his racing heart and the rush of adrenaline.

She doesn’t answer him.

“Lucy… draga… where is the Lifeboat?”

Lucy moans in response to him and slowly turns in her seat to face him.

“Otay Mountain.” She tries to sit up but her strength is gone and she falls back into the seat.

“Otay Mountain?!” Garcia can’t hide the fear in his voice. Otay mountain is just under a one-hour drive from his home in the suburbs of San Diego. “Where are Wyatt and Rufus?” He asks.

Lucy doesn’t answer him, and he gives her a moment to process his question. He knows all too well what the pain feels like when traveling within your own timeline. He understands that it is difficult to focus on the task at hand.

“Lucy.” Her name escapes his lips as a plea.

“I… I came alone.”

He takes his eyes off the road and looks at her. He wants nothing more than to pull her close to him, to cradle her in his arms. He watches as she winces in pain. He reaches out and places his hand on her leg hoping it is enough to bring her some comfort. He returns his attention to the road ahead of him and signals as he merges onto the highway, heading south toward Otay Mountain. He drives well over the speed limit.

The last time he saw Lucy was when she was asleep by the campfire in 1848. He sat across from her when he decided he would go back to 2012 and take care of Jessica for Wyatt. He sat across from her as he wrote his letter to her. He wasn’t sure how he was going to get his letter to her without Wyatt noticing, but of course Wyatt nodded off even though he said he would stay awake to keep an eye out on them while they got rest.

Garcia finished his letter and went to Wyatt. He carefully maneuvered the journal from his arms and placed the letter within the pages of the journal. He knew that Lucy would find it there. He then turned around and knelt beside her, brushing a strand of hair from her face. He hoped that what he was about to do would help her find the happiness he so badly wanted for her. Even if it meant she wound up with Wyatt. He knew that she loved the guy. And why would Lucy even consider him, Garcia Flynn, anyway? He was a killer and an accused terrorist.

He couldn’t bring himself to stay now that he knew that Lucy had developed feelings for him. He didn’t want… but of course he wanted her. She was his everything. She was the reason he didn’t kill himself that night in São Paolo. She saved him, and here she is again in 2014 trying to save him. It’s true that he didn’t really believe that they would be together as the journal said, but he started to have feelings for her around the time he kidnapped her and took her to Chicago. Then after spending time with her in the bunker after she broke him out of prison, all their late-night heart-to-heart talks, well… the heart wants what the heart wants, and he fell in love with her.

He loves her.

He will always love her.

And that terrified him.

By that campfire, Wyatt woke up and saw Garcia near Lucy, and asked what he was doing. Garcia stood up and ignored the question. He told Wyatt that he was going to ride ahead of everyone to scout out Sutter’s Mill. And without another word to Wyatt, Garcia looked at Lucy one last time and walked away forever.

He was too damn scared of losing her that he chose to leave instead of seeing how things might have worked out between them. He knew that everything in the journal wasn’t set in stone. He lied to her about their relationship ending badly so it was easier for him to tell her to stop having feelings for him. To stop falling in love with him.

The fact of the matter was that after the sinking of the Titanic, he and Lucy were stronger than ever. They truly became quite the team. They were in love, and they were fighting for their future. They were fighting to save the people they love, and they were close to defeating Rittenhouse. Lucy wrote that Wyatt remained angry and jealous of them, but that she no longer cared about what he thought of her or her relationship with Garcia. All that mattered to her was that she was happy. She couldn’t wait until Rittenhouse was finally defeated so that she and Garcia could move on with their lives together. To have a family of their own.

One of the last entries in the journal Lucy wrote about how she lost Garcia. Not to death… just that he was in trouble and no one on the team knew how to save him. After he was lost everything got worse. Wyatt treated her like shit and while she could stand up to him at first, his inability to not be a dick wore her down. Wyatt’s attitude ran everyone off: Connor, Agent Christopher, Jiya and even Rufus. But Lucy couldn’t leave. Rittenhouse hadn’t been defeated and she knew the only way to find Garcia was to question Emma Whitmore. When she began writing the journal it was only she and Wyatt left in the fight, two people who couldn’t stand each other and who lost respect for one another along the way. It was in the back of Garcia’s mind the night he left to kill Jessica, that if he never came back, if he stayed in 2012 and died, that no matter what his death would ensure Lucy never lived that future.

“You were wrong.” Lucy says to him, breaking his train of thought.

Garcia looks at her, noticing the large diamond ring on her finger, sparkling from the street lights outside. He doesn’t have to ask her about it, he knows that she married Wyatt.

“About what?” He regrets asking the question when he sees the dejected look on her face.

“I don’t love him, Garcia.” Lucy tells him, struggling to find the strength to speak.

“Don’t say that, Lucy. I see the ring on your finger.” He tells her wearing his broken heart on his sleeve.

“I loved him once, but there wasn’t enough to…” She trails off, her head rolling to the side and her eyes close. Garcia’s heart stops and he’s just about to say her name to make sure he’s still with him when her eyes open. She looks at him and tells him, “You made me happy.”

Goddammit, his heart breaks.

He was too afraid to let go of his loneliness and the misery he welcomed into his life in the four years since Rittenhouse murdered his family. He got used to being alone and being miserable. He was depressed and the only thing that kept him going was the journal. Lucy’s journal. Lucy kept him going. She saved his life, gave him reason to fight and to live.

Lucy made him happy.

With her, he remembered how to flirt not that he ever could. He remembered how to laugh, to smile and what it was like to live without his darkness. He remembered what it felt like to love and to be happy. He remembered how good it felt to wake up in the morning and feel the arms of the woman he loves gently drawing circles on his chest with her fingertips. To feel the softness of her skin as he would caress her bare shoulder with his fingertips. To smell the scent of strawberries in her hair. To lie with her in bed in complete silence and feeling nothing but tranquility.

That is what he had with Lucy.

That is what he could have had with Lucy if he had come back from 2012.

Those things terrified him. They terrified him not because those things were bad, but because those things meant he was moving on. He was both ready and not ready to let go of Lorena. And letting go didn’t mean giving up hope of saving her and Iris, far from it. Even if he and Lucy had been together, or even married, and were still fighting Rittenhouse, he would still be fighting to save his girls. He would be fighting to save them with Lucy at his side. And not just to save Lorena and Iris, but Amy too. He wrote in his letter to Lucy that there might be a way to get Amy back. He had thought a lot about that the nights he couldn’t sleep with Lucy in his arms, staring up at the ceiling of that old bunker.

He reaches over and takes hold of Lucy’s hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

In this 2014, Amy does not exist.

This 2014 was created by actions they and Rittenhouse took that changed history.

He has spent countless nights laying awake alone in his bed thinking of how he might be able to save Amy. Lucy forgave him for the actions he took at the Hindenburg which erased her from existence, but that didn’t alleviate the guilt he carried on his shoulders. He planned on going to São Paolo next month so he could be in that bar when Lucy showed up with her journal. He didn’t need the journal, but he wanted to see her. He wanted to see with his own eyes that his assumptions about she and Wyatt were right. He needed to ask her if Amy had been saved.

But Lucy came to him tonight, not knowing that he has already been through everything. She came to him to warn him about Rittenhouse. She wanted to make sure that Lorena and Iris would live, and that he would never get involved. He feels a pang of guilt as he remembers the first time that they talked about São Paolo. He told her that everything that happened was because of her, that she started it all. He hates that he placed that burden on her shoulders.

Garcia realizes he’s been quiet for too long. He needs to acknowledge what Lucy has told him. He leans over and raises her hand to his lips and places a kiss on her knuckles. He hears her breath quiver before she lets out a soft cry as she removes her hand from his and unbuckles her seatbelt and moves closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“I’m…” Lucy struggles to speak.

“Lucy…” He says her name because there’s nothing more he can do right now to comfort her. He’s driving and there’s no way in Hell he’s going to stop until they reach the Lifeboat.

“Promise me…” She lifts her head from his shoulder and looks at him. “Promise me you’ll live your life with Lorena and Iris. Don’t…” She squeezes her eyes shut and presses her hand to her forehead as blood trickles from her nose onto his shirt. “Don’t…” Her eyes search his face as if asking him what she was about to say next. She shakes her head. She can’t remember.

“Save your energy, Lucy.” He tells her, not knowing if he should tell her that he and Lorena divorced a couple years ago when she figured out that something was off about him. He decides not to tell Lucy. If she doesn’t make it he wants for her to believe that she succeeded, and that he’ll live happily ever after with Lorena and Iris. They are happy, that wouldn’t be a lie.

When Lorena confronted him about why he had become so distant with her and Iris, he told her everything. He told her about Rittenhouse without revealing its name, time travel, how she and Iris had been murdered, how he was trying to destroy Rittenhouse to save them. He told her that he had done terrible things and that there was darkness in him that he didn’t want to touch she and Iris.

He told Lorena about Lucy. That she was the one who set him on that mission. That he fell in love with her and left her because he couldn’t bear the thought of his heart breaking again. He told Lorena that he suffered from depression after hers and Iris’s deaths and that Lucy was the one that made him feel whole again. She was the one thing he couldn’t hate after he lost everything.

Lorena being Lorena listened to him and found it in her heart to understand without fully understanding. With tears in her eyes, she told him that she would be willing to get to know the new him again if that’s what he wanted, but if he wanted out of the marriage, she wouldn’t fight him. They could have shared custody over Iris, and he was always welcome in her home.

Lucy rests her head against his shoulder again, wrapping her arm around his waist.

“I’m cold.” She whispers, tears fill her eyes.

Garcia takes his right hand off the wheel and holds Lucy in his arm, rubbing his hand on her shoulder to try to keep her warm. He stares out the windshield of the car as tears sting his eyes. She’s so much further along with these side-effects that even he is starting to doubt that she’ll make it. He presses his foot on the gas pedal and is now driving over ninety miles an hour. Silently, he pleads for her to just hold on a little while longer.

Twenty minutes later, Lucy struggles to remember the exact location of the Lifeboat at Otay Mountain, but they manage to find it quickly since she didn’t have time to hide it well. Garcia stops the car and undoes his seatbelt. His white t-shirt is stained with her blood.

He opens the car door and looks at her. Her eyes are bloodshot now and her skin has lost its color. If she were stuck here permanently, he would ask her if she wanted him to end her suffering quickly, but the Lifeboat is no more than thirty feet from them. He can do this. He can save her. There’s still time.

He goes around to the passenger door and opens it, reaching in and helping Lucy out of the car. Her arms wrap around his neck as he carries her. He feels that she barely has the strength to do it. She’s become so weak. He runs as fast as he can to the Lifeboat. He knows that she’s in no condition to pilot it, even with auto-pilot. He knows that he will need to return with her to 2023 and run the risk of once again traveling within his own timeline.

He’s thankful that the code to open the hatch hasn’t changed in the years since he’s been gone. The hatch opens with a hiss and he manages to lift her up into the machine and then himself. Lucy lies on her stomach with her arms sprawled out on the floor. She’s trying to push herself up. He kneels next to her and wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her up into his body. She looks at him in the same way she looked at him that night in Chinatown. She’s defeated. She knows this is the end.

“Flynn…” She cries out his name as tears begin to stream down her face.

He doesn’t want to let her go, but he needs to get her home. And even when he does that, he knows he won’t leave her side until he knows she’ll be all right. The 2023 she’s created he will exist, and he knows that going there with her puts his life at risk, but he doesn’t care. All he cares about is saving Lucy. She’s so weak. So very, very weak.

“Garcia…” her voice is barely a whisper. She knows she doesn’t have much time left. She feels herself slipping away. She reaches out to him and touches him, her fingertips wiping tears from his face.

“Save your strength.” He chokes back his tears. “I’m going to get you home.”

He rests his forehead against hers and she feels his tears mix with her own and it breaks her. He lets out a cry and wraps his arms around her, burying his face into the crook of her neck. He starts whispering to her in Croatian, in what Lucy assumes is prayer. She feels his tears hot on her skin. She runs her hand through his hair and whispers in his ear that somehow everything will be all right.

They both know that is a lie.

Lucy somehow finds the strength to pull away from him, to look into his eyes and wipe his tears away. If this is the only time they have left together, he needs to know. She parts her lips to speak, but he stops her, placing his finger on her lips.

“We need to go, Lucy.” His voice wavers.

“I love you.”

He looks down at her as he can’t bring himself to let her out of his arms, and his heart breaks. She loves him. She wasn’t supposed to love him. She was supposed to love Wyatt. She was supposed to save Amy and have a family of her own. And despite everything he thought she was meant to have, she loves him. He wipes a tear from her face and leans down and places a soft kiss on her forehead.

Lucy cries out in pain and buries her face into his chest as she clings desperately onto his shirt. Then she goes still but her breath trembles as she exhales. Garcia runs his hand through her hair and looks at her, trying to figure out why her cries have so suddenly stopped. He hopes his touch assures her that everything will be ok, even though he knows it will not. He knows he should be plugging in the time and coordinates to get back to 2023, but if she’s going to die, he wants to hold her in his arms to her last breath. He doesn’t want her to die alone.

Lucy struggles to sit up as she removes the locket from around her neck and fastens it around his. He looks her in the eyes, not understanding why she would give this to him. He opens it and sees two beautiful little girls and Amy. His heart stops as the realization sinks in… Lucy was giving up her daughters for him. He shakes his head and blurts out “No!” He shakes his head again. “I’m going to get you back to them, Lucy.” He holds her by her shoulders to show her that he means every goddamn word he says. “You shouldn’t have come here… goddammit, Lucy.” His voice cracks as he struggles to keep himself from falling apart.

But Lucy can no longer focus on him. Her eyes look beyond him even though he’s looking her in the eyes. He takes her into his arms and holds onto her as if willing his life to replace her own. To sacrifice himself yet again to save her.

But that isn’t how this works.

All he can do is hold Lucy, his Lucy, in his arms as he whispers words of comfort to her as he feels her slipping further and further away. Lucy’s hand runs over his arm, as she tries to reach up to him, but her strength is gone.

With tears streaming down his face, he gently, ever so gently, lifts her face up to his and kisses her. He kisses her gently as if anything more would take her life. His hand holds onto her face as if she’s a crystal vase that’s already been broken. She opens her mouth to him, gentle and responsive, wanting him to know that she wants this too. Time seems to stop as their tongues slowly intertwine. He gives her the breath of his life, and she exhales back into him as their kiss deepens. He feels her body relax and he pulls her against him. Her hand rests on his chest and she draws it up to clutch onto her locket around his neck. Her lips leave his and through whatever pain she is suffering she manages a weak smile. She allows herself to sink into his embrace. He holds her head against his chest. She closes her eyes and listens to his heartbeat. She feels the rise and fall of his lungs as he breathes.

He is alive, to her that is all that matters now.

In his arms she is safe, and protected, and loved.

Her body involuntarily twitches in his arms and he knows that this is it. He knows that she is suffering, and there is nothing he can do to stop this from happening. All he can do is hold her. Cradle her in his arms and whisper her name over and over, “Lucy…”

This is all his fault.

He never should have left her.

If he had just gone back to 1848, she wouldn’t be here dying in his arms.

He could have changed everything.

Lucy’s body seizes in his arms and he holds her close hoping that in doing so he makes this as painless as possible. Blood trickles out from the corner of her mouth. He failed her. It didn’t have to end this way. She didn’t have to die. He rests his chin on the top of her head as she continues to convulse. Then her body stops, and he hears her inhale and the fluid in her throat rattles on exhale.

And then she is gone.

She did her best to hide the pain she felt as she slipped away, but he felt it. He felt it in the way her fingers dug into him. He saw it in her face as she shut her bloodshot eyes. He heard it in her final breath, and he whispered “I love you, Lucy” into her ear so those were the last words she heard on this Earth.

He holds her lifeless body in his arms, holding her head against his chest and pets at the locket she placed around his neck. She wanted him to hold on to her family for her. Her daughters, her sister… and he understands.

Make your own future.

She said that she came to him now so he can save his family, she warned him about Rittenhouse. She didn’t want him to get involved, but how could he not? Especially now after losing her?

She wanted to change the future, her future. Their future. And though he holds her lifeless body in his arms now, Lucy Preston is alive and well teaching at Stanford.

Her future isn’t set.

His future isn’t set.

Their future isn’t set.

He can go forward and make things right. He has the Lifeboat. He doesn’t need a pilot to drive it. He can start this mission now and stop Rittenhouse once and for all. They won’t even know he has a time machine right now and Connor Mason is still two years away from having two working time machines.

No one can stop him now.

He looks down at Lucy’s lifeless body in his arms. He knows that there is no guarantee that she will fall in love with him again or that they’ll ever meet. He’ll let fate decide that for them. He’s checked up on her 2014 counterpart, she’s involved with Noah now. And from what he’s learned about Noah from his own research is that he is a good man. No ties to Rittenhouse, he’s a good match for Lucy.

Garcia just wants her to be happy.

Of course, he will always love her, and it makes it easier for him to let her go knowing that his Lucy, the one from his original timeline, loved him too. It allows him to accept he may never be with her. Garcia leans down places one last kiss on the top of Lucy’s head and gently lowers her to the ground of the Lifeboat. He looks around and sees her journal on the pilot’s seat.

He doesn’t need the journal. It’s unreliable anyway, too much has changed. Even this timeline is not the same as the one where this all began. He’ll destroy it just in case it falls into the wrong hands.

He needs to do this.

He needs to do this for her.

He needs to destroy Rittenhouse

Even though he knows that she didn’t want him to get involved, he has to. He needs to do it all over again and do things differently. He wants to do it. He doesn’t need for Lucy to set him on this journey. He will take that responsibility from her.

He closes the hatch to the Lifeboat and plugs in the date: 09-25-1780. He can destroy Rittenhouse in one trip, take out David and John Rittenhouse. His finger hovers over the auto-pilot button on the control panel, he uses his shoulder to wipe another tear from his face. He lets out a soft cry as he realizes that if he does this that he will be erasing Lucy from existence, and he had been willing to risk that before when he intended to blow up members of Rittenhouse at their 1954 Summit, but he can’t do that to her now. He loves her too much.

He glances down at the journal and thinks about how much Lucy wanted to save the world from Rittenhouse. And yet… perhaps he will need its help one last time. What if… what if he does go to Lucy? What if he can recruit her to help him, to be his historian? What if she could be on his side from the very beginning? What if this time she is the one who receives the journal? What if she reads it and wants to help him?

That would change everything.

He looks down at his Lucy and goes to her, kneeling beside her as he lifts her up into his arms again.

She is at peace.

He takes hold of her hand and kisses her knuckles, making a silent promise to her that he’ll never leave her again. That this time he’ll fight harder for her, that they will defeat Rittenhouse together. That he’ll do everything in his power to ensure that this doesn’t happen again.


End file.
